This review will be a review of two parts. The first part will deal with the theme, and the second part will deal with the fill. After that, the two parts will be compared to one another, and the reviewer will take a stand on the whole.
Here is the first part:
I found today's theme pretty hilarious, and there are eight theme answers as well. First off, who here does not delight in stupid puns? I know I do! And don't volunteer it if you don't like puns. That's a sure way to stick out like a sore thumb. Even better, taking those punny bible quotations and cluing them in a wacky manner.
Looking at the actual answers, ASSAULTOFTHEEARTH is an unfortunate fail. The actual quotation is "the salt of the earth", so I don't know where that A came from. Some of the other answers are neutral over all: FALSEPROFITS is not particularly surprising or funny (and W.S. Gilbert used that pun over a hundred years ago in The Sorceror). AMARKUPONCANE is also meh.
But I loved FORBIDDENFLUTE. That's silly. ANAYEFORANAYE seems like great advice for our current situation in the USA. Wouldn't it be nice if there was a little more horse trading on Capitol Hill? I also very much enjoyed INTHEBIGINNING. Fun!
So, a modified thumbs up for the theme.
Here is the second part:
1A: Purchase via Charles Schwab: Abbr. (STK). This nets an F. I hate starting with an abbreviation, but really, do we need to abbreviate "stock" to "stk"? You save two letters, not to mention it takes longer to say the abbreviation than the original word. Things did not look good at this point, and we just started.
So many partials. ASIAM (?!). ILIE. ADDA. ITOFF. STE.
And then there are things like SAFARIED. NFLER. REMI and REFI (funny how those are pronounced so differently). REFEREED.
Of course I liked SCHUBERT showing up. And DOGSAGE is colorful.
Perhaps it wasn't as bad as I thought it was, in reviewing it. But still...
Fave? 8D: Rear half? (BUN).
In comparing and taking a stand? Better in reviewing the whole than it was when I was solving it.