Wow. Another really tortured pun theme today. Let's get right to the ACTION.
"Slow driving holiday parade in December?" is CHRISTMASCARROLL. That's "Christmas car roll." Yup. And "Update Wikipedia after the 2012 election?" Is ADDMITTSDEFEAT (Add Mitt's defeat). My favorite might be the next one "Subject of study for an insect biologist?" - BEEATTITUTES. Bee attitudes. It's just so absurd. Although "Words accompanying an offering to the ruler of the donkeys?" (FORTHEEASSKING) is equally, if not more absurd. I'm actually chuckling more now than I did during the solve, but then, I am a big nerd, and I am partial to crosswords to begin with.
Another thing I am partial to is ERITURIA (Ancient Italian region), which covered much of present-day Tuscany. Ahh... Tuscany. Where, in Volterra, they have ALOTOF ALABASTER. Would that I were EXILED there. I'd be a happy FELLA. No AGITA would I then feel. No one would hear me utter a POORME.
Where was I? SLAPDASH (Done hurriedly and carelessly) is a word well known to my readers, I suspect. Heh. And it is a TRUISM that I learned the word DESERET from crosswords. Where else would I have come across it?
Kind of a lot of people I am not familiar with today - Leah REMINI, Sopran MARNI Nixon, Investigative journalist RONAN Farrow. (Or is that Farrow RONAN?), Director Ming-liang TSAI, Screenwriter/actress Michaela COEL. But they were all fairly crossed.
How'd you like the puns?