I'm sorry to go out on a FWOE, but there you go. I'm a poet and I don't even know it, but my feet show it, they're long fellows. Remember that old chestnut?
My FWOE came where TASSEL (a tarboosh feature, apparently) crossed ANNASUI, or ANNA puey, as I'm going to call her, since she makes perfume. Fashion is apparently not my forte, and even if it were, a scent called Dolly Girl is right out, as Huygens might say.
The whole north west was a problem. 2D. Tower of ____ (classic math puzzle) was either too classic, or not classic enough for me. I've never heard of it (HANOI) . And I love math! Huygens probably dropped that in like an I shaped Tetrimino. And, I was stuck in other parts of New York City for a long time, instead of enjoying myself at the PIZZERIA (21A. Locale in "Do the Right Thing").
I was intrigued by 20D. Humorous as opposed to strange. When I was a kid, when someone in my family said, "a funny thing happened." someone else always said, "funny strange, or funny haha?" Apparently, other people say HAHAFUNNY. Aren't humans wonderful?
Never mind MOANS, a literal groan escaped me when I completed 10D. Food processors, informally (TUMMIES). I'm sorry to even type that in here. I wanted APT at 8A (Prone), but I did not want that. I told Horace I was stuck on that square, and he said, "you're not going to like it." What he said was apt. APT!
My second unfavorite answer was CARRACE for 500, e.g. I like a curve, but that one was a NON.
Anywhoo, it's the thirtieth day of the sixth month, Saturn is in retrograde, and the review is about to enter a new FAZE: Horace takes over tomorrow. Save all your SOPPY encomiums. I'm so OVER it.